Cindy & Kyra

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Baby or no baby??

Cindy & Kyra (2 mth)

March'09 is "shopping for baby shower gifts" month for me. I spend almost every weekend to shop for the gifts and visit my best friend and ex-colleague and their newborns. And today i came to know my favourite blogger Karen, had delivered her third son, Liam as well (read her story at Karen Cheng's Snippets of Life). Oh, babies!

Kyra will be three in this coming July, and i have been thinking of having a second one. You know, to accompany Kyra so that she won't feel lonely, don't want to spoil her because she's the only child and bla bla...Ok, the truth is i wanted a boy so badly! Ya, ya in term of this, i admitted that i'm a typical old chinese lady with old-fashioned thinking. But don't you think one is too less and two is just perfect (especially it's a boy)?!

So, my question is when do you know it's time for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th baby...?
Do you consider financial factor (nursing care & education), emotional factor (family and sibling's feeling towards the new member), physiological factor (high/low risk of pregnancy, previous complications during giving birth), or you just know it's time and just do it?

For my case, well the biological clock is ticking, i don't want to be a high-risk pregnant lady and needs to go through procedures. I kind of miss the feeling of being pregnant, ya know everyone treat you extra nice, you are responsible to eat good and eat more (with not feeling guilty), you are told to rest more (just leave the house chores to your hubby, haha!) &...

My mother-in-law babysits Kyra for me while i go to work. So, the next question is who will be looking after the second one? I will probably need to hire a helper at home so that she can help my mother-in-law to babysit both of them or one of them will need to be sent to nursery or babysitter. Of course this will incur some costs, and economy is bad now!

I have asked Kyra whether she liked the idea of having sister or brother, her first answer was no. But after visited my friend's newborn baby, she changed her answer to OK. :-) Now, the only person to persuade is my hubby! He once told me that one is enough, and he seems so contented with just Kyra. People said, daughters were fathers' lovers in their past lives, i kind of believe it now...

So, Mommies and Daddies out there, any great advice?


The 8th Voyager said...

She will have a lonely childhood if she is the only one, unless she stays in nursery / school hostel.

For most Chinese family, one boy one girl ngam ngam ho.

Euroangel said...

very cute girl..thanks for the add in Bc..take care!

Anonymous said...

Hi Cindy! Can I say I am qualified to give comment here bcox I already have one girl (5 yr) and one boy (2 yr)?! smile!

I have same thought as you, if possible we should have at least 2. Look at my elder daughter for example ... when she has younger brother, she starts to learn to share toys, to share "parents", to be patient as she cannot have all the time from us at the same time, and most important she now learn how to take care, to teach and to love her younger brother. She definitely will not able to learn that if she is alone.
From parents perspective, we also learn to divide our time, & concentration equally and most important to be fair to both, on top of that how to handle when both fight for things, this needs knowledge, skill and experience, kekeke. This is important lesson so that when my children grow up, their relationship are close to each others!

Want to know how to get boy or girl, ask me personally, hahaha!

For me, the age different of 3 years between siblings are just nice. At least the elder can help to take care of the younger one. And elder can send to nursery, while my wife take care of the younger one at home, with backup if case my wife has appointment, my mum & sis in laws can help take care.

Basically to have 4 in the family (wife with 2 kids), I estimate a household monthly income of Rm10K is neccessary. Not to forget pocket money to our beloved parents included. Show you details if have chance why Rm10K a month is not really sufficient, unless you only go to work and then stay at home all the time, no holidays outing and no friends. hehehe ...

Nowadays I do hear women pregnant at the age of near 40 and still able to delivery a healthy baby, although there is a risk for the baby to be down syndrome. However to be one should consider more on the education fund. If you deliver a baby at age 35, when you retired at age 55, ur child only 20. Unless you are financially capable at age 55 or ur child is brilliant enough to get scholarship, or else ur EPF will be gone within the next 3 years after retirement. How if you want to live until age 70? Depend on ur children? Not me for sure!
Chat more next round.. Alwin Lee (

Buckeroomama said...

Go for it! Hubby and I were just commenting the other day how much "richer" our life has become, with two kids. An example:

It's double trouble, but also double the blessing. :)

Joyful said...

Hi, Cindy,
Thanks for visiting my joyful blogging page! I have enjoyed your blog page, as well :) Enjoy the day!

Cassandra said...

Very sweet and beautiful baby!


Sue said...

I think you just know when it is time. If you want for the "right" time then it may never happen.

Also thanks for stopping by my blog & commenting. :)